Monday, December 18, 2006

The season for giving crappy gifts

Today was our Christmas party at school. It's a kind of a double-edged sword. On one hand it's exciting because it means that Christmas vacation is only a day away. On the other hand you have to prepare yourself for the onslaught of terrible gifts. Now there are those rare families that you can count on to come through for you. For example, three of my students each got me Starbucks gift cards that totaled up to $65. That should last me through the end of the year. However, most of the gifts suck. They're usually so bad that you can't even use that "It's the thought that counts" line. Note to parents and future parents reading this: Avoid giving the following gifts that I received today. They'll never make good presents and quite frankly there's only so many fake compliments one can come up with when put on the spot.

* Mini ornaments
* A Christmas stocking with the teacher's last name spelled wrong
* A small loaf of something smeared with cream cheese
* Generic coffee
* A travel mug that plugs into a car lighter
* A dusty box of chocolate truffles
* A gingerbread ornament missing one eye
* Coasters that you can slide photos into
* A tiny pillow that says "Joy" on it
* A Santa that has candy coming out of where its butt should be
* A small weiner of summer sausage

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