Politically incorrect

Today we went on a field trip to Dickson Mounds, which is a Native American museum located in the middle of nowhere. It's so boring there that even the Indians would be begging for the white men to kill them and put them out of their misery. When we first arrived one of the boys pointed and said "Wow, look at those things!" As I turned to see what he was referring to I came face to face with a lifesize replica of an Indian woman without any stitch of clothing over her chest. What a nice boob shot ten seconds into the visit. We headed upstairs to hear about Native American artifacts. As the students were entering I told them to sit with their legs folded Indian style, which instantly I realized was the wrong choice of words. The woman giving the talk said "That is so disrespectful to our culture. We say criss-cross applesauce." However, I find that to be disrespectful to those brave apples who gave their lives to become a part of school lunches each day. Who's politically incorrect now? We later looked at the exhibits. (There's only so many arrowheads you can look at before you want to start jabbing them in your own eyeballs). We were told that when we finished with the exhibits to head into the large theater for another presentation. I opened the doors and led the students in only to be stopped ten seconds later by an irrate employee. "Who told you to come in here? This theater is closed for the time being," she griped. I explained that we were told to enter and she put her finger over her mouth as though to tell me to be quiet. As Kelly Ripa would say, that's a no-no. Don't treat me like a runny-nosed four-year old. Before I could be childish right back she added, "I don't really want to talk to you. I need the teacher." Perfect. I smiled right back and said, "Well that would be me. Michael Ritchason, nice to meet you" as I extended my hand. Refusing to take it she said a curt "Well you need to stay out of here" before hopping back on her broomstick and flying away.