America's most wanted

This afternoon my principal came in and asked me to stop in her office when I had a chance. Instantly I began wondering which parent had called, complaining that I had called their child a spook. Sometimes it just slips out. Later when I stopped by to see her she asked me to shut the door which is never a comforting sign. She took out a manila folder and said "I'd like you to take a look at this." I knew someone would stumble upon my nude Internet pictures one day. I was relieved to discover that it actually had nothing to do with me personally. All of the volunteers in our classroom are required to be fingerprinted to make sure they're not dealing in illicit activity. Well sure enough out of the whole school the only one that was flagged was a parent in my room that helps out several times a week. According to the poilce report attached, she and her husband had gotten into an argument back in 2001 and she had beaten the crap out of him. This is the same parent who bought me $75 worth of stuff at the World Series. Needless to say, I don't want to let this one get away. There could be a nice Christmas present on the way. She's coming in to help at 2:15 today. I need to be on my best behavior and try not to piss her off. She could kick my anorexic butt any day.