B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Well school is out once again and it's time for one of my favorite times of the year, the summer concert season. Yesterday Rach and I headed up to Tinley Park to catch Gwen Stefani's Sweet Escape Tour. We stopped at Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat before the show. As our meal was coming out the waitress dropped my side of ranch dressing and it shattered all over the floor. In fact, one of the shards of the porcelain bowl actually cut Rachel. It wasn't bad or anything but they gave us free dessert. I tried to get her to push it in a little bit more to really make it bleed because I thought maybe we could get our whole meal for free. No luck.

So we arrived at the amphitheatre with our $10 lawn tickets in hand and enough snacks to keep a diabetic going for weeks. Just inside the gate we noticed two workers hawking upgraded seats for $10. I went to check it out and found out that we were able to trade in our tickets for seats down in the first section of the venue about 15 rows from the stage. We ponied up the $20, said farewell to our pot-smoking brethren in the grass, and headed down to our seats. How is it that we always manage to sit behind the most annoying people in the place? In front of us sat six high schoolers whom we were able to psychoanalyze by the end of the night. There was the flamboyant gay boy, the straight guy who will on a dare go ask another guy for his number in order to win $20, the snooty girl whose crap literally smells of lillies, a solemn young lady secretly battling depression who popped a Zoloft in the restroom, an annoying girl who tries to run with the cool kids but will never be up their level, and a ponytail-wearing tomboy who is just inches away from shunning boys forever.

The show kicked off with some girl named Lady Sovereign. She's like this British hip hop chick whose MySpace page calls herself the biggest midget in the game. Um, I guess that's good right? There were obviously people in the crowd who knew her because they sang along to every expletive-laced ditty. Let's just say she let the F-bomb fly more times in her five-song set than Tony Soprano has in six seasons.

After a short set change Akon strutted out. Before you get too worried he didn't simulate sex on stage with anyone or throw any teenagers out into the crowd. He's making progress. His performance was unlike any I have ever seen. He only sang 90 seconds of each song. It's like he American Idol-ized his set. And before he left he swiped a page from the Marky Mark/Usher play book and ripped off his shirt when relaying a fascinating tale of dating a stripper. It kind of makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.

What can I say about Gwen? I have liked her for some time but I was never really a huge fan until last night. She is an amazing entertainer and really had the audience in the palm of her hand from start to finish. She put on probably the second most elaborate and theatrical show I've ever seen after Janet Jackson (and well, maybe N'Sync in their No Strings Attached heyday. Um yes, I'm sorry. I was there.). Needless to say, that s*it was bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Set List
The Sweet Escape
Rich Girl
Yummy
4 in the Morning
Luxurious
Early Winter
Wind It Up
Fluorescent
Danger Zone
Hollaback Girl
Now That You Got It
Dont Get It Twisted
Cool
Wonderful Life
Orange County Girl

Encore
The Real Thing
U Started It
What You Waiting For