So I vowed a month ago that I wouldn't be returning to Milwaukee any time soon. When I made that statement I happened to forget that I had already purchased tickets to see Faith Hill and Tim McGraw in that fair city. So yesterday Rachel and I headed back up for a return engagement. I wish I had better news, but I honestly think the place has gotten even weirder in the last five weeks. So we arrived at the Bradley Center and discovered that our seats were only twelve rows from the stage. So far so good until soon after our arrival Milwaukee's finest begin coming out of the woodwork. A fifty-year old man two rows in front of us walked in dressed head to toe in American Eagle's summer line. There comes a time in everyone's life when you have to realize that you can't dress like your fourteen year old child. I speak the same message to many of those ticket holders from last night. Learn to dress appropriately. Ladies, if your boobs hang past your belly button, then it's probably time to retire that baby tee that says "Hottie." The woman sitting next to Rachel looked like Dame Judi Dench from the wrong side of the tracks. She was dressed in all black with the requisite cowboy hat on. Rach commented that she smelled like a combination of cigarettes, beer, and nachos, which usually I find irresistable. Now she and her daughter were huge Tim fans and loathed Faith. Whenever she came to our side of the stage the two of them booed her. The kicker was that at one point she returned from the concession stand with a soft pretzel. As she was making her way down the row to her seat she dropped it behind the seat in front of her where it landed on the floor. Reaching down she picked the pretzel up after several seconds of searching and proceeded to take a big bite. I mean three dollars is a lot of money to waste on a pretzel. A man a few rows behind us showed up by himself and managed to sit down and just stare at everyone, especially the young girls. Rachel swears that she saw him on one of those Dateline pedophile investigations. A guy a few rows closer to the stage was dressed in a white fitted wife beater, tight Wrangler jeans, a shell necklace, dark sunglasses, a white cowboy hat, and a spray on tan. At first I thought that he was trying to be Kenny Chesney but when he started dancing I soon realized that he wanted to have sex with Kenny Chesney. He had that whole gay man pelvic thrust where he was just grinding away in thin air. And I can't help but mention my two female friends a couple rows away. It's bad enough that they stood up through the entire concert singing off key. The best (or worst) part of it was that as they continued to guzzle down more Mike's Hard Lemonade the more touchy feely the got. By the end of the show they were like Ellen and Anne back in the good old days.
Now I would be remiss if I didn't tell about the actual show (even though the supporting players were worth the $85 price tag). Faith opened her part of the show with Mississippi Girl, a song that I'm embarrassed to admit that I turn up and sign along to in the car. It's gay I know. Actually it's just a glorified Sounthern remake of Jenny From The Block. The rest of the songs she performed from her latest album were just hit (Fireflies) or miss (The Lucky One). Faith delivered all of her biggest hits, including This Kiss, which seemed to be the crowd's favorite. My one disappointment was when she sang Cry. Instead of showcasing this big pop power ballad she chose to do it accoustically which made it dull and lifeless. Oh I did have one more disappointment. When she performed Breathe she forgot to writhe around naked in a sheet like in the video. Maybe she's saving that for the next tour.
When Tim took the stage it was apparent that most of the crowd was there for him. The first few notes of Real Good Man were almost drowned out by the audience. All three of the songs he performed from his new greatest hits album were terrible. I mean it made Taylor Hicks' Do I Make You Proud song sound like Hey Jude. My other problem came when he let the crowd sing most of his biggest hits. I came to hear Tim sing Live Like You Were Dying, not the skank sporting the Marlboro t-shirt and missing teeth.
My real draw for going to the show was the chance to see the two of them sing together, which they did intermittantly throughout the two and a half hour spectacle. A couple of the songs were about breaking up so it made perfect sense for the two of them to have their backs to one another. However, when you sing a song called Let's Make Love it probably helps if you acknowledge one another's presence. Not even on their blockbuster hit It's Your Love did they even get within thirty feet of one another. Is there a restraining order in place that none of us are aware of? I mean they made Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards look like love-struck newlyweds. It wasn't until the very last song of the show that they finally sat across from one another to share a microphone. By that time it was too little, too late.
Set List
TIM & FAITH:
Like We Never Loved at All
FAITH:
Mississippi Girl
The Way You Love Me
Sunshine & Summertime
Fireflies
This Kiss
Let Me Let Go
Stealing Kisses
The Lucky One
Cry
There Will Come a Day
It is Well With My Soul
Breathe
Piece Of My Heart
TIM & FAITH:
Angry All the Time
Let's Make Love
TIM:
Real Good Man
Where the Green Grass Grows
Don't Take the Girl
Just to See You Smile
My Little Girl
Something Like That
When the Stars Go Blue
Live Like You Were Dying
Unbroken
The Cowboy in Me
I've Got Friends That Do
I Like It, I Love It
TIM & FAITH:
It's Your Love
No Woman, No Cry
I Need You
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