Christmas vacation has arrived which means another class Christmas party has come to a close. As usual the gifts from my students were a mixed bag. Well if I'm being honest they were the worst ever. You know it's bad when your greatest gift is a $10 gift certificate to Taco Bell. Here is the complete list of everything I received:
* 8 tubes of pastel colored icing
* 2 sheets of stickers with half of them missing
* a pair of student-size scissors
* a plate of cookies that were carried to school in the rain and not covered with anything (Mmmm a soggy snickerdoodle!)
* a Shrek the Third popcorn canister (I hate popcorn.)
* 4 used Christmas pencils
* a lotion dispenser containing lotion that smells like Betty White
* a cardinal ornament superglued to a pinecone
* a large letter R magnet the size of Ohio with matching notepad
* a St. Louis Cardinals travel mug
* an already read Goosebumps book with Cheetoh's fingerprints on seemingly every page
* a candleholder with accompanying tealight (This was presented to me by a mother who prefaced the opening of it by saying "Here's your gift. I think your wife will really like it." She didn't.)
* a coconut cut in half with a zipper attached to the middle to open and close it along with a face drawn on it in black marker and a straw hat on the top
Needless to say I could get a box of freshly excreted crap on Tuesday morning and it would probably outrank 80% of the gifts listed above. Merry Christmas!
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