Tick tock

Thankfully it's almost the end of the day, and Thanksgiving break couldn't come soon enough. Here's a recap of my school day:

* One of my students came up to me in the hall first thing this morning and gave me a hug. However, it was one of those side hugs where unfortunately as he was wrapping his arms around me he managed to grab my butt and my balls at the same time.

* Today we were reading a story about Squanto and how he was sold into slavery early on in Spain. One girl raised her hand and said that her aunt lives in the Phillippines where they eat rice and baby ducks. When I asked her what this had to do with the story, she thought for a moment and said "Oh nothing really."

* This afternoon I walked into the boys restroom to find a boy with his sweatpants down to his ankles with his ghostly white rear showing for all to see. To make matters worse he would pee a little bit in one urinal, pinch his penis to stop the flow, and move on to continue the journey to the next urinal. It almost had a rhythm to it that I kept waiting for a grieving Kanye to come lay down a verse about his mom.

* As if one bathroom tale wasn't enough, later on I went back in there to check on a boy who had been in there longer than an exntended episode of Grey's Anatomy. As I turned the corner I saw him on his knees over the toilet bowl in the instantly recognizable I'll-know-next-time-not-to-order-the-smothered-burrito-at-Fiesta-Ranchera vomit position. I asked him if he was okay to which he replied "I dropped my glasses in the toilet." I stepped forward to get a better view and discovered that they were way down there hiding in the darkened cave part of the toilet. Since water was already dripping off his arms I told him to try again. But as luck would have it he couldn't reach them. So like any good teacher I looked for the crazy janitor. She was nowhere in sight. So I retreated back to the restroom, pulled up my sleeves, and reached in, praying that I wouldn't discover a lost turd. The glasses were saved and now only smell faintly like the port-a-potties at the Heart of Illinois Fair.

So I'm sitting here counting down the remaining minutes of the day as Play Doh goes flying through the air. After today neon green Play Doh mashed into the carpet is the least of my concerns.