The slip-up

This afternoon I dismissed tables one at a time to go use the restroom. One boy came back a few minutes later and asked me if he could call his dad to bring him some new socks because his were wet. Now Joey talks so slooooooooooow that the ensuing conversation lasted longer than the running time of Schindler’s List. I asked him how his socks got wet in the restroom. His explanation was that he ran to sit on the toilet “because I had to poop real bad.” While he was sitting there one of his shoes fell off. Unable to poop with only one shoe on, he kicked off the other one. I mean that’s the natural reaction when you’re sitting in a 3’ x 4’ cubicle caked with dried pee on the floor. According to him, he next heard a boy in the adjoining stall that was up to mischief. He himself should know what misbehaving in the restroom sounds like as earlier this year he sat on a urinal like it was a highchair and sang “My Humps” at the top of his lungs. Needless to say, young Joey proceeded to address the matter himself by stepping up on the toilet seat to look over the partition. This wasn’t well thought out because he’s about a foot and a half shorter than the mayor of Munchkin City. As he tried to pull himself up, he slipped and one of his feet landed in the toilet. After listening to his recollection of the events, I looked down to find both of his shoes still off, only one sock on, and his wet pants leg pulled up to his knee like a white, miniature LL Cool J. I sent him down to the nurse to see if she had any clothes for him. In true Joey fashion, he turned back to me in the doorway and asked if he could stop and use the restroom. Um, no.