The most unanticipated concert of the year

For Father’s Day this year my dad surprised me with tickets to see The Eagles. The only problem was that I’m not really a fan of them. Sure, who doesn’t like to sing along to Take It Easy or Hotel California, but I own one, count ‘em one, Eagles CD that I haven’t listened to probably since the youngest Jonas brother was born. My dad went to see them four years ago when they were in Peoria and came back raving about their live show. I think he mistook my feigned interest for disappointment that I wasn’t able to go. When he presented me with the ticket in June and I looked at the $187.50 price (yes for one ticket) I immediately wondered if it would be rude to ask him to sell it on eBay and just give me the money instead. Two hundred dollars can buy a lot of donuts and Sour Patch Kids, my two basic daily food groups. I thought better about that and tried to get myself excited about the upcoming show. I borrowed my dad’s stack of Eagles albums and loaded them on my iPod, yet in full disclosure I’ve yet to listen to a single track. Well the day finally arrived and yesterday we headed to St. Louis.

When we got into town we went to Union Station to eat. There was about a 45 minute wait so we stood off to the side near the dessert tray. Now I get annoyed by people who think they know everything. This girl in her mid-20’s came up to the dessert tray with her friends while they were waiting and started pointing to each dessert and loudly naming them like she was Wolfgang Puck’s personal pastry chef. I was particularly impressed that she could identify what a piece of cheesecake looked like. The girl had mad skills. The best part about it though was she thought that she was so smart but she butchered the name of almost all of the desserts. She pointed out “bananas forester” and “creamy brule.” Now most people hearing their friends mispronounce something would just keep it to themselves, but it was apparent that one of the members of her party could be a little catty. This other girl wouldn’t stand for this blatant misinformation and busted her out. “It’s bananas FOSTER, Shelley,” she called out, speaking even louder than Shelley had. “That’s what I said!” she yelled back. It rapidly became one of those lame SNL sketches where two characters just argue back and forth at one another. Dad and I slowly took a few steps to the side so no one would think we were associated with the Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag of St. Louis.

After we ate we made our way to the Scottrade Center and found our seats. The lady right in from of us was from Romania. It was kind of obvious she wasn’t from around here before she even said it because she was wearing two-sizes-too-small purple overalls and a Hillary Clinton headband circa 1992. The look was completed with eyeglasses the size of Lake Huron. A friend asked her what her favorite Eagles song was to which she replied “Go Your Own Way.” I wanted to warn her that she’d be waiting all night for that one considering that she wasn’t at a Fleetwood Mac show. By about 9:30 I looked around our section and saw a number of older men asleep in their chairs, which is incidentally how I envision a John McCain presidency. A lot of old, white guys passed out in their chairs as Larry King Live flickers on the television.

Set List
How Long
Too Busy Being Fabulous
I Don't Want To Hear Anymore
Guilty of the Crime
Hotel California
Peaceful Easy Feeling
I Can't Tell You Why
Witchy Woman
Lyin' Eyes
Boys of Summer
In The City
The Long Run
No More Walks In The Wood
Waiting in the Weeds
No More Cloudy Days
Love Will Keep Us Alive
Take It To The Limit
Long Road Out Of Eden
Somebody
Walk Away
One of These Nights
Life's Been Good
Dirty Laundry
Funk #49
Heartache Tonight
Life in the Fast Lane

Encore
Take It Easy
Desperado