Disclaimer: I am such a third grader. I mean when someone says the word "balls" or farts in class I laugh. I can't help it. So today was the 100th day of school and each student was asked to bring in 100 pennies for a math activity. Later in the day as were passing them back out to the class, one of the students' collections caught my eye and, yes, caused me to chuckle. Needless to say, "pennies" will be on next week's spelling list.
Yesterday during indoor recess some of the girls were drawing on the board. One of them decided to draw a picture of our student teacher, Miss Philipchuck. The two of us both laughed because it looked nothing like her. For the record, she doesn't look like a frizzy-haired Julianne Moore, nor does she have a 2 x 4 permanently jutting out of her rear. Oh, and the large, oversized globes on her chest? Those are her poofy sleeves, lest you think otherwise you perverts.
This weekend at church they had a family-style service, so Ella stayed in with us instead of going to her normal class. So we all sang and played games, and about halfway through my niece Joy came back to sit with us. Now when Ella and Joy get together it’s a bit like a preschool version of Laverne and Shirley. Joy leaned over to ask where the puppet was that she saw earlier. I simply told her that I think it got sick and was taking a nap backstage. Of course this didn’t satisfy Ella who wanted to know what was wrong with him. Like the mature father that I am, I whispered that I thought he had diarrhea. Immediately I realized that this was the wrong thing to say because she began giggling uncontrollably and loudly announced in the middle of the service, “Joy, the puppet has diarrhea!” Please forgive me, Lord.
Disclaimer: This blog will not help manage your stock portfolio, provide daily inspirational quotes, show you where to find the cheapest gas, point you to naked photos of Helen Mirren, rant against the political process, give you step-by-step directions on how to spay or neuter your pets on the kitchen table, help you find a job, teach you how to write in calligraphy, tell you who Lindsay Lohan is sleeping with, give you tips on how to save the environment, show you how to mix the perfect mojito, or provide home remedies for hemorrhoids. Rather it's just a collection of amusing stories about my family, my third graders, and the seemingly insane people I come across on a daily basis.
